Moving Beyond the Cliches-Romans 12:9-13

I hate clichés and do my best to avoid them at all costs. There is just something about saying what has been said a million times before (in the same tired way) that doesn’t interest me in the least. Add the “cute” factor and sprinkle a little “Christianese” on top and I’m even more disinclined to use certain catch phrases. In fact, some of these well-meant sound bites actually promote falsehood! Here are a couple of examples:

“When God closes a door, He opens a window”

“You are never safer than when you are in God’s will”

“Let go and let God”

“God will never give you more than you can handle”

Yuck! Add to these those common phrases that our world loves (you can be anything you want to be, shoot for the stars and you might get the moon thrown in, etc.) and you can end up with a superficial spiritualism that is a poor substitute for saving faith.

That said, some phrases that have become commonplace do offer an element of truth that ought to be celebrated. For the next couple of weeks we are going to reexamine a couple of these that might be illustrated in Paul’s letter to the Romans. Today I am going to take a deep breath, swallow hard, and reexamine seven clichés in Romans 12:9-13 that, once revisited, reveal how to love others well in the context of the church.

1) Be real-12:9a-“…Let love be without hypocrisy,…”

The next set of comments that Paul makes in Romans 12 appear to be a “hodgepodge of various teachings. Little structure or sequence of thought can be discerned.” This makes it difficult to organize a sermon on these verses, at least in a cohesive way. That said, one organizational tool that Paul provides exists on the grammatical level. All of the verbs in verses 9-13 are present participles that describe ongoing activities that are to be considered alongside what is introduced at the beginning of verse 9—“Let love be without hypocrisy.” As a result, nearly everything that Paul discusses in verses 9-13 in some way highlights how people in the context of the church are supposed to love each other well.

Encouragements given to this end (loving one another) have often become repeated so much that they have been reduced to clichés. This is unfortunate and, hopefully as we reexamine these important teachings, we can reclaim their truth and commit ourselves to applying them in our lives.

The first of these “clichés” is simply “be real”—“Let love be without hypocrisy” (12:9a). The NIV translates this “Love must be sincere.” Interestingly, no verb exists in this opening phrase in the original language, making it possible for “sincere love” to behave more like a title for this passage than an opening remark. If “sincere love” or “love without hypocrisy” is the title of this section, what does it mean? Perhaps the adjective used provides the answer. “Sincere” translates a word that means “not playing a part, indicating that a believer’s love for others should not be faked or merely external. It should be consistent with what is true in one’s heart” (Moo, Encounters, 180).

Certainly, this is just as relevant today as it must have been in Paul’s day. People in general and millennials in particular are looking for authenticity in their interpersonal relationships. “Being real” in the way believers show love to others is not just good church polity, it is an effective witness to the lost. It is not enough to simply say “be real,” the church must endorse what Paul describes here an insist that sincere love is the order of the day. But how? The remainder of our passage answers this important question.

2) Keep it holy-12:9b-“…Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good,…”

To “be real” and demonstrate sincere love, Paul encourages the church to “Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good” (12:9b). There are many ways this two-pronged admonition has been hackneyed in church culture and yet, my favorite iteration is “keep it holy.” In fact, I often say “keep it holy” to students or friends in jest/when I’m leaving the room. However, Paul suggests here that holiness is not just a cute idea, it is a profound calling.

This calling requires two ongoing activities. First, holiness requires that believers “abhor what is evil” (12:9b). “Abhor” calls to mind revulsion and avoidance of that which is detestable. This is how a believer ought to treat sin. Rather than dance on the edge or see how close one can get to something without committing a transgression, believers are to run full speed away from iniquity and treat evil like the plague. Second, holiness demands that believers cling to what is good. If a believer’s hands are filled with things that are good, not idle or empty, it becomes more difficult for her to grab what is forbidden. “Keepin’ it holy” is not a throw away phrase as much as it is a pithy delineation of a life that is actively avoiding evil and embracing righteousness.

3) We are Family-12:10-“…Be devoted to one another in brotherly love,…”

Another encouragement that Paul provides in an effort to spur the church on to sincere love is “be devoted to one another in brotherly love.” A common cliché that sympathizes with this sentiment was the inspiration of a popular song entitled “We are Family.” However, even this declaration—“we are family”—is more than just a familiar lyric. Two Greek words in verse 10 utilize the phil root—a root that was often used to denote the affection of family members for one another. In fact, Philadelphia is known as the “city of brotherly love.” Applied to the church, Paul suggests that the body of Christ is a kind of extended family in which believers have natural affection for one another. This affection is demonstrated in encouragement offered, support given, and love shared.

I can’t express how thankful my family is for the extended family that we have in our church. To say that “we are family” is not without any application or significance for me. This family prays for us, supports us, helps take care of us, encourages us, and loves us in ways that are inspiring, refreshing, and needed. “We are family” is a glorious declaration of a miracle God has brought about through our shared position in Christ. Certainly this is much more than a lyric to an annoying song.

4) Put others before Yourself-12:10b-“…give preference to one another in honor,…”

Paul’s next comment is very much connected to the idea of family and the interpersonal relationships therein. At the end of verse 10, Paul says, in so many words “put others before yourself”—“give preference to one another in honor” (12:10b). Instead of thinking too much of oneself (see 12:3), believers are to think of others first. This familiar virtue is repeated by teachers to preschoolers in the context of a classroom, parents to their children as they settle sibling disputes, premarital counselors to an engaged couple as they prepare for marriage, and in many other contexts. However, this oft-repeated rule also applies in the church and is required if its members are to love each other well. A church filled with a bunch of entitled and self-centered sycophants is no longer a church—it’s Hollywood, it’s Washington DC, it’s any number of other things; but it is not a church.

Illustrations of placing others before oneself abound in the life of Jesus. He demonstrated this virtue by washing the disciples’ feet (John 13:14-15); predicted this when he said “greater love has no one than this, than for someone to lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13); taught this when he said things like “if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles” (Matt. 5:41); lived this when he took precious time to meet with and heal people; and expressed this in dying on the cross. As the church is made up of the followers of Jesus, it ought to follow Christ’s example of putting others first. In so doing, it loves well and demonstrates to the world that its members belong to Christ.

John 13:34-35-"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

5) Have a servant’s heart-12:11-“…not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord,…”

How many times have you heard someone describe another with a phrase like “she has a servant’s heart”? This description is a familiar way to express what Paul encourages in verse 11 when he says “not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord” (12:11). This statement betrays the kind of person who does not hold back or hesitate in serving the Lord. Such service, like abhorring what is evil, clinging to what is good, devoting oneself to one another, and giving preference to one another, is a continuous and ongoing activity that ought to be second nature in the life of a believer. Not only that, but Paul adds that this kind of service is executed after one is set on fire by the Spirit—“fervent in Spirit” (12:11). Paul views the Holy Spirit as the agent who creates enthusiasm within believers for the things of the Lord. This is true of a believer’s service to the Lord. Believers, in other words, are to be those who, having been galvanized by the Spirit’s presence, do not hesitate to serve the Lord consistently. This is vital if the church is to love the Lord and each other well.

6) Focus on the light at the end of the tunnel-12:12-“…rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer,…”

Next, Paul calls the church’s attention to the future so as to provide encouragement for the present—“rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer” (12:12). If/when individuals find themselves in present difficulty/trial, people will often say something to the effect of “Focus on the light at the end of the tunnel” (12:12). Whether this is shared with a student who is working toward graduation, a patient who is undergoing treatment, a builder who is completing a project, or a campaign manager who is looking to election day, the idea of having people looking to the end in order to maintain hope and motivation in the present is commonplace. Hope is a powerful thing and its loss can prove to be a fatal blow to the human heart and will.

This is true for the church. As the church faced persecution and pressure from Rome and elsewhere in the first century, Paul understood how important it was for them to remind themselves of what they could expect in the end. This, he did, so that the church might find resolve in their present circumstances. By consistently rejoicing in the world that is yet to come (glory, heaven, etc.), the church could endure the world that they faced (fallen, broken, etc.). One might say that a believer’s capacity to persevere today is directly related to his capacity to remember tomorrow. Those with hope in tomorrow and perseverance for today are freed up to love well.

One of the ways a believer can focus on their hope and find endurance for what they face is through a dynamic prayer life—“devoted in prayer” (12:12). Communicating with God allows believers a forum in which to praise the Lord for his completed work, confess their dependency on Christ for all things, hand over issues that need attention, and look forward to what is coming. All these prayer practices help kindle the fire of hope in Christ and provide much needed encouragement for each day.

 “Focus on the light at the end of the tunnel” is not just an encouraging remark offered to the discouraged in passing; it is a biblical principle involving three activities—rejoicing in what is coming, persevering in what is happening, and praying to that end—that frees the church to love well, even in the midst of difficulty.

7) It is better to give than receive-12:13-”…contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality,…”

One final ingredient to loving well in the context of the church that Paul offers is “contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality” (12:13). This principle too has been redacted to cliché status with statements like “it is better to give than receive.” Certainly, this comment is true, but something of its weight has been lost in translation. Borrowing from the ideas of verse 10—“ Be devoted to one another in brotherly love…”—Paul suggests that “our family affection for brothers and sisters in Christ should motivate us to share with those of them who are in need and to provide hospitality to those who require it” (Moo, Encounters, 180). A beautiful picture of this is painted for us by Luke in Acts 2.

Acts 2:43-47-“Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through  the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people,…”

In the first century, hospitality was a championed value. “Putting up travelers for the night and providing them with a meal was a very important service in a culture without many hotels. Such inns as did exist were often hotbeds of crime. Thus, believers would depend on fellow Christians, their extended spiritual family, for hospitality.”

Though hospitality and contributing to the needs of others may look different today, the encouragement still rings true. It is better to give than to receive, and when everyone in the church gives, it is loving well.

So What?

How does a church demonstrate love in edifying and winsome ways? By demanding that the following are consistently practiced: authenticity, holiness, devotion to one another, selflessness, service, hope, and giving. To be sure, in some places these values might be relegated to cleverly worded clichés. May it not be true of us! Which of these needs to become more than a catch phrase in your life?