Do You Love Me?

There are some things that when said, we never want repeated—a childhood nickname that was less is than complimentary, a time when we stick our foot in our mouth, or after repeating a unflattering story in public that your wife or children deem private. However, there are other things that we don’t mind hearing again and again. We never tire of phrases like, “you are looking good today” or “what a brilliant idea!” or “you’re the best!” However, perhaps what we want to hear the most is “I love you.” Entire industries are devoted to this phrase that human beings crave to here from significant others, especially around this time of year. It is one of those phrases that never gets old.

In fact, this phenomenon is not limited to humanity, for God Himself enjoys hearing this phrase more than anyone. This is proven in John 21:15-17 as God made flesh interacts with one of His closest friends.  In their dialogue, Jesus asks the same question three times and appears to never tire of Peter’s important answer. Ultimately from this passage we will learn how important it is to love Jesus in everything we do and how this love is expressed within the body of Christ.

1. Jesus’ First Question-21:15

The depiction of Peter’s public reinstatement into the ministry following his tragic failure in John 18:15-18 is one of the most famous passages in all of Scripture. What made Peter’s three-fold denial of Jesus so embarrassing was Peter’s feigned reliability in the presence of his fellow disciples. In fact, Peter boasted of his loyalty on several occasions prior to denying his Lord (climbing higher, thereby providing for a more devastating fall).

John 13:37-“’Lord,’ Peter asked, ‘why can’t I follow You now? I will lay down my life for You!’”

John 18:10-11 –“Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it, struck the high priest’s slave, and cut off his right ear…”

In word and in action, it would appear as though Peter was the least of Jesus’ worries. However, once Jesus was arrested and taken from Peter’s presence, Peter is quick to deny Christ three times. This successfully unraveled any previous pledges of allegiance Peter claimed.

Therefore, because of the public nature of Peter’s failure, Jesus seeks to restore Peter publicly saying, “‘Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?’…” (21:15). Several interpretations of this question are possible. First, Jesus could be asking, “do you love me more than you love these disciples?” However, this question is not consistent with any theme found in the book of John. Another option is “Do you love me more than you love this fishing gear?” This makes better sense, yet, Peter was not called from his fishing in John 1 nor is fishing given an especially negative connotation in the immediate context. The best option is “do you love me more than these other disciples do?” Peter has always tried to set himself apart from his contemporaries at various stages of Jesus’ ministry (jumping from boats [6:15-21; 21:1-14], insisting on laying down his life [13:37], and cutting off someone’s ear in defense of his Lord [18:10], etc.). In fact, Peter has brought this question upon himself by trying hard to stand out among his peers. However, flamboyant physical behavior and empty promises were not enough to help Peter’s claims and posturing stick. Although Peter was the only disciple to walk on water and the first to claim Jesus as “the Christ, the Son of the living God” (6:69), he was also the only disciple who publicly denied the Lord three times. Therefore, this painful question asks Peter to articulate whether or not he still believed he loved Jesus more than the rest of the disciples.

But what kind of “love” is Jesus talking about? Many consider varying possible connotations of the verb employed in this verse (agapaw). Though some persons have tried to assign certain distinctions between the verb used here and others (like φιλέω), it does not seem possible to insist upon a contrast of meaning as a rule for all contexts. For example, the usage of the verbs for “love” used in this passage seem to be employed to avoid undue repetition (more on this later). In fact, several words for “love” are used for the total range of loving relations between people, between people and God, and between God and Jesus Christ (especially in the writings of John) (Louw Nida). Therefore, in keeping with the general nature of this verb and the contextual considerations already mentioned, Jesus is simply asking Peter if his high regard and affection for Christ is greater than those around him.

Peter responds to Jesus’ probing question with, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You’…”(21:15b). In Peter’s answer, he does not try to compare the relative strength of his love to the other disciples. Instead, he appeals to the Lord’s infinite knowledge. In essence, Peter says, “despite my bitter failure…I love you—you know that I love you” (Carson, 677). Though a simple answer to Jesus’ question, Peter affirms Jesus’ omniscience, thereby asserting that Jesus is in fact God Himself.

Satisfied with this first answer, Jesus calls Peter to make good on his admission by commanding him to “tend my lambs” (21:15c). “Peter’s love for his Lord, and the evidence of his restoration are both to be displayed in Peter’s pastoral care for the Lord’s flock” (Carson, 678). This image of a flock is appropriate on at least two levels. First, in order to survive and thrive, sheep require tending. The same can be said of the church who requires the constant leadership and care to survive and grow. Second, this image was no doubt similar to what Peter had seen demonstrated in his own life for the past three years. Just as Jesus tended the flock of the disciples, so too was Peter now commissioned to do the same for those he would be given to lead. What would allow Peter to make good on this calling? Love for Jesus Christ.

2. Jesus’ Second Question-21:16

Though Jesus could have made His point with one line of questioning, there are three. In the second inquiry, the very same question is posed, “…He said to him again a second time, ‘Simon, son of John, do you love Me?’…” (21:16), only this time, no mention is made of the other disciples. No doubt, Peter began to wonder whether or not Jesus heard him the first time or had already forgotten what he had said.

Perhaps for clarification and in case Jesus missed it the first time (in Peter’s thinking), Peter reiterates, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You’…”(21:16b). Again, believing that his first answer was perfectly adequate, Peter affirms God’s omniscience in Jesus Christ—the same omniscience celebrated throughout the Psalms.

Psalm 139:1-6-“Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away. You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know all about it Lord. You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me. This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it.”

Psalm 147:5-“Our Lord is great, vast in power; His understanding is infinite.”

Peter’s point is this: if Jesus is God and knows everything then He knows the answer to the question He is asking.

Again, satisfied with Peter’s answer, Jesus responds with another command, “Shepherd My Sheep” (21:16c). Though this phrase is different verbally, in essence this is the same imperative offered in verse 15. However, in the words used here we are given a better understanding of Jesus’ point. To “shepherd” has both a very literal and figurative meaning. Quite literally, Jesus calls Peter to “herd and tend His flocks of sheep.” However, Jesus does not own any literal sheep or livestock. Therefore, the more figurative rendering, “to lead with the implication of providing for,” is preferred. Here, Jesus again calls Peter to look after the sheep of God (His disciples) and help provide for their spiritual needs.

3. Jesus’ Third Question-21:17

By now, everyone present should have known where Jesus and Peter stood. However, Jesus returns again and asks the same question of Peter a third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” (21:17a). Many like to read a great deal into the change of verbiage used in this final question. Instead of using agapaw for “love” as has been used in the first two questions, Jesus uses filew, the same word Peter has been using to respond back to Christ. Though the verbiage is different, the essence of Jesus’ question is the same. The fact that Peter has been responding to Jesus’ question with a different word without rebuke or correction and that John uses both words interchangeably throughout His gospel suggests that the same question is being posed, “Peter, do you love Me?” It is obvious by this point that Jesus does not want to leave this issue so quickly.

Once this third question left the lips of Jesus, Peter must have known what this was all about.  As Peter had disowned Jesus three times, so Jesus requires this simple and yet profound confession of love three times, “Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, ‘Do you love Me?’...” (21:17). SPECIAL NOTE: The word used for “love” here is “filew.” However, the first two times Jesus asked Peter “do you agapaV me?” Therefore, technically, Jesus did not ask Peter “do you filew me” three times as John says here. Is this a problem? No, in fact it is further evidence that John is simply using different words to say the same thing to avoid unnecessary repetition.

You can imagine that this was not an easy moment to endure. To “grieve” as Peter does here means to be brought to a point of great sadness or distress. This third question no doubt brought Peter back to that most embarrassing and tragic moment of his life when he felt it more expedient and safe to deny ever knowing his Master (Something he would never want to repeat). The first time Peter was thrice questioned occurred around another small fire in the company of a small group of people. There in the darkness of night while Jesus was on His way to die, Peter broke under the pressure and failed miserably in front of total strangers. Here, in the company of His fellow disciples and friends, Jesus Himself adds to the pressure of the situation by repeating His inquiry in a way that adds to the drama of the moment. However, unlike before, Jesus has by this time conquered the grave and Peter was not hiding under the cover of darkness waiting for Jesus’ crucifixion. Unlike before, Peter was now standing in broad daylight beside the brilliant glory of the Son of God.

For these reasons, Peter answers, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.’…” In this repeated answer to Jesus’ persistent question we are made aware of a new kind of confidence in Peter’s life—a holy and sanctified confidence brought about because of Jesus’ resurrected presence. Of all the issues that Peter had before and would continue to have in the remainder of his life, at least one of them was settled—he loved Jesus. He knew it and God knew it!

Because Jesus knows that Peter really does love Him, He commands Peter a third time to “Tend My sheep” (reverting back to the original imperative found in verse 15. This again seems to support that parallelism of verbiage was of little consequence to John in this context. What is more important is parallelism of thought). In each of these cases, once Peter proclaims His love for Jesus, obedience to care for the flock is demanded.

So What?

Though we might be tempted to believe that this situation was unique to the life of Peter, Jesus’ repetitive inquiry of allegiance is something that every disciple faces if they listen close enough. Life experiences, circumstances, and revelation from God’s Word and creation are always calling into question our love for Jesus Christ both in isolated moments and in the grand scheme of things. In each and every moment, Jesus is perpetually asking you and me the same question He asks Peter here, “do you love Me?” Because He is God, He already knows the answer. Therefore, Jesus asks this for another reason entirely. His consistent line of questioning compels us to evaluate our motivations and constantly check our focus.

1 Corinthians 13:5-“Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you-- unless indeed you fail the test?”

Are we loving Jesus in our jobs, our families, our daily lives, among our friends, in the midst of pressure, etc.?

We cannot be about the business of serving others in any meaningful ways (tending the sheep) until we are able to answer “yes” to this question. Similarly, only those who answer “yes” to this question are those who are obedient to the Lord’s call to serve His flock.

So, let me ask you, “Do you love Jesus?” If so, tend His flock.  Do you love Jesus? If so, serve His church by supporting your brothers and sisters in Christ. Do you love Jesus? If so, invest in His kingdom building work here in this context and around the world.